CONFESSOR: I want to message you from last 2 months but I didn’t… bcz I I’m afraid ….. but then I decided to tell you because … sometime share something with someone give you comfort. This year in January it has been 5 years since I was r@ped by someone when I was 16 years old and was in 10th class I met a guy … actually he messaged me on social media app and I was totally new on social media … so at first I ignored his messages …. But when he didn’t stop texting me … I replied to him … we did lot of talk …. Meanwhile I gave him my number also that was my fault. But after some time I stopped talking to him when I feel nothing comfortable …. But I don’t know how but he had my parents number also and he used to message on my mothers phone and gave cuts on his arm if I don’t talk to him … and my father is a army man and still doing defence job … so I didn’t want them to worry about anything…aise hi baat hoti rahi humari mai jbrdasti usse roj dar k mare baat krti thi … one day … he want me to meet him on my birthday…. So before 2 days of my birthday I went to meet him on his friend’s place who was a girl …. When I saw a girl there I felt better…. But after sometime she also left …. And we were alone there … he holded my hand …. He repeat …. One thing many times ….. that I want to marry you and also want child from you if I don’t then he will k!ll me …. I denied I shouted on him and told him that leave me alone….living a life with you is like a hell …. For me …. He got angered and he slapped on my face…. Then he started r@ping me …. He took of my clothes and gave me a lot of pain… he gave me many cuts on my body …. He was playing with me like a toy….he did s*x again and again …. Continuesly for 4 to 5 hours by just giving a little break ….i was not able to breath properly… my body was freeze and i don’t even feel my legs … I thought it is my end now …. I remembered my parents that time and felt like we will never meet again …. But I don’t how … I was survived … and only thing that was coming to mind that what will I say to my parents …. So I decided not to tell them anything but my mother felt like that there was something wrong but somehow I handled it …

after 3 days he called to my friend …. And asked to talk to me and I did and he told me that I can’t live my whole life with this burden that I r@ped you …. I regret now ….his last words (if possible please forgive me) then he committed su!c!de And got to know from his friend …. that he did suic!de … his father was totally alone now | have talked to his father many times …. He is such a nice person he don’t even know anything about this … I always used to call him twice a month that he is okay or not …. …These things now repeat with me every night… I’m not okay these days ….i take sessions …. Take medicines daily …..now there is no such day when I sleep without crying … And yeah he was 23 years old means 6 years older than me ..!!

I’m in a relationship with someone And nothing is going well ……He is so caring … but it seems like I’m getting toxic …. Because of my past I really don’t know what should I do … now because … I always put him in stress and always doubt on him….
And sometimes … I compared him with that guy who is in my past. Do you have an suggestions ? How can I handle these things?