CONFESSOR: My mom and dad had love marriage, it didn’t work out, mom left dad and my custody was given to my dad. My dad was an alcohol!c. My dad had a very good friend named Deepak, he used to visit our home daily and used to drink along with my dad. One fine day, my dad was drunk badly and that uncle Deepak he called me near him, I never felt his touch so bad before but that day he touched me every unwanted places and that made me feel bit weird though I didn’t know what he was doing. He quietly told me that he will give me bath as it was summer time and kids should take shower twice. I trusted him and went to the washroom he took off my clothes and started giving me shower, suddenly he too removed his clothes and told me he was feeling hot too. I used to treat him as my fatherly figure. He started touch!ng me on my chest and my private parts I thought he was giving me shower but later he told me to sit on his lap. Something was going inside me. The first time when it went inside I couldn’t breathe and I was unable to even yell because of the pain. I was 5 years old back then. He used to do that with me every day. He used to take advantage of my dad getting drunk and sleeping. It continued for so many days. I confessed my mom when I was 16years old then I realised whatever happened with me was purely rape and I was victim of R@pe. I fell in love with a guy for 8years, I told him everything that happened with me, he felt bad and told me he would never do anything wrong with me, I trusted him and gave my body to him, he did the same he used to fulfill all his s*xual desires with him in name of love. Later he got married to someone else and left me.

ADMIN: Sorry you have been through so much

CONFESSOR: I again fell in love with a married man, he was like a fatherly figure to me, very caring everything was great, he always took care of me, always loved me and never did anything wrong but later I found out he cheated me with his wife as he told me earlier he was about to take divorce from her. I was broken again

Third time I fell in love with my best friend who took me out from the relationship with a married man.. everything was great but whatever happened with me in past made me insecure about everything. I tried to trust him but he gave me alt of reasons not to trust him. With this guy I fell in love that I never felt with anyone else. Everything was perfect between me and him. One fine day he said he doesn’t wants to be with me.. anymore. I explained him that because I have been thru so much I am unable to trust him. He gave 0 fucks and left me. He used to call me and tell me I love you just to have s*x with me. I felt like none of them used to or even rap*d me the way my last boyfriend did.. it was purely r@pe in terms of love. He always disrespected me, always abused me, cheated on me so many times. I trusted my best friend. In return I got lots of hurt. In short I trusted people I love with my body and in the name of love he used to r@pe me. Now I am scared to fall in love again.

ADMIN: How could you trust him inspite of him doing all this to you and why do you call him your best friend?? No compulsion to fall in love. You need lotssss of time to heal and figure things out before getting into another relationship

CONFESSOR: Because of my last boyfriend recently a week ago I saw the dream that the man who r@ped me, he came to my house and again tried to r@pe me. When I needed him he left me. The worst part is last week he was going thru family issues I stood by him the whole week, and you know what he did? He acted so good to me again used me physically and made me fall in love with him again and when things got better he told me he can’t be in a relationship with me and again left me.I feel worst than what that uncle did with me with this guy. The guy who was married is still here with me like not in a relationship but keeping me safe making me feel better also taking care of me.. he never left me alone always stood by me but I can’t be with him as he’s married.

ADMIN: The first guy?

CONFESSOR: Second guy was already married when I met him and fell for him. The last guy with whom I fell in love the most. I never loved anyone the way I loved him.. never I blocked him from everywhere. Working I am 28 years old I don’t have a father he passed away 9years back. Due to committing su!c!de.

ADMIN: I am so sorry to hear that. Then who is the anchor in your life. Whom do you ask for help in the case of emergency? How are you managing all this

CONFESSOR: The only person I look for is God

ADMIN: Are you in touch with your mom ?

CONFESSOR: Yes later when I turned 11years old my dad gave my custody to my mom. Since then I stay with her. I told her about my r@pe when I turned 16. The worst part is I confessed this to three of them but expect the already married guy both the guys took advantage of me in spite of knowing that what I have been thru. But I don’t blame them it’s all my mistake and I agree on that.

ADMIN: Okay you have her for support right ? Do you share your problems with her ?

CONFESSOR: Not everything, but I did share about the rape. Also I lost my two babies like I did abortion with the last guy twice.. I loved him so much but he left me .I even told him that in my entire 28yesrs of life you are the first guy with whom I got pregnant twice and had abortion please for the sake of our babies don’t leave me but he left